Posts Tagged: lies

Lie #1983

Definitely True

Male-pattern baldness is a side-effect of piety. It’s for this very reason that many religious orders in history have integrated head shaving as a requirement for clerics and priests, symbolically placing them among the most faithful. Of course, cynics have pointed out that this also effectively conceals those who are un-pious jerks who would otherwise… Read more »

Lie #1982

Definitely True

Three million adults are killed every year as a direct result of improperly handling ukuleles.

Open Source Creative Podcast #16 – Let’s Talk Spec

At long last, another Open Source Creative Podcast episode is here! Sorry for the long gap between episodes, folks… it’s been a crazy month. In any cast, this episode was recorded back in March and in it I talk about doing spec work (that is, speculative work) as a creative producer of things. Episode 15… Read more »

Lie #1981

Definitely True

Every mammal has one tooth that, after it’s removed, tastes and melts just like hard candy. It’s a different tooth for every individual, however, and all of the non-candy teeth are filled with a chemical that makes it feel like you have a mouth full of fire ants… angry fire ants.

Lie #1980

Definitely True

80% of all YouTube comments are written by 3 people. Chained together in the correct order, these comments form the script for an experimental 3-hour episodic television show they’re developing. Currently, the script has enough dialogue for roughly 16 seasons.

Lie #1979

Definitely True

Prior to the Dark Ages, carrots didn’t exist. In fact, they’re not even vegetables. Carrots are the only remaining evidence that dragons existed on this planet. When stealing livestock from medieval herders, dragons would invariably bite the ground, breaking off teeth. Of course, dragon teeth constantly grow back, even when no longer attached. So, in… Read more »

Lie #1978

Definitely True

A recent scientific discovery revealed that Venus flytraps are not, in fact, eating the insects that they capture. They’re copulating with them… then eating them. The fertilized eggs from this act are preserved and stored deep within a subterranean incubator that all flytraps are connected to. Every 543 years, those eggs all hatch simultaneously and… Read more »

Lie #1977

Definitely True

The term “cargo pants” has nothing to do with the storage and transport utility of that particular style of garment. No, it’s really because cargo pants are made out of reconditioned gasoline. One of the inventors of cargo pants, Wilfred Stockonmeyer, had an unusual (and unbecoming) affinity for bad puns. He insisted that the pants… Read more »

Lie #1976

Definitely True

Oranges are explosive. The trick is getting the fuse stuck into it without overly damaging the rind. Ever wonder why cartoon bombs are balls with fuses in them? It’s because they’re oranges, painted black to hide this vile citrus secret from impressionable children.

Lie #1975

Definitely True

Caffeine is the most powerful sedative known to man. It only works for mere seconds, but it knocks you out and disables your body so completely that after you regain consciousness, you feel revitalized and full of energy for hours.