Posts Tagged: lies

Lie #1817

The most effective means of ridding a house of mold and mildew is with an air horn. Simply honk it for 2 seconds every hour on the hour for a full day and your home will be mold-free for up to 3 months.

Lie #1816

Penguins have the fastest on-land speed of all animals. In fact, there is no known upper threshold for the velocity of a penguin on land. The longer one runs, the faster and faster it gets, and there doesn’t seem to be a limit. The complication is that penguins have excruciatingly low acceleration. By the time… Read more »

Open Source Creative Podcast #9 – Tutorial Monkey Button Junkie

This week’s episode talks about tutorials… well, specifically how we tend to treat tutorials. There seems to be an overarching trend toward replicating the process in a tutorial verbatim without actually learning how to apply those techniques elsewhere. People learn how to push a specific series of buttons in a specific way to produce a… Read more »

Lie #1815

37% of all adults have attempted to fake baldness in order to get out of receiving a moving vehicle citation for speeding. Over half of those people have succeeded at least once.

Lie #1814

In the late 1840s, Earth was attacked and invaded by an insectoid alien race. However, these aliens had no concept of physical warfare. They only knew how to do battle with logic, rhetoric, and weak mind control. So upon landing, their first salvo was on our educational institutions. Unfortunately, we were completely unaware that we… Read more »

Lie #1813

Your clothes dryer is a portal to an alternate dimension that’s solely populated with the souls of the dead. In fact, this portal is the very mechanism that makes clothes dryers work. The alternate dimension — let’s call it Bob — is a very arid place with an extremely low moisture content (interesting sidenote: this… Read more »

Lie #1812

One out of every six ping pong balls is made out of starched cow’s eye and filled with a very festive blend of confetti paper.

Lie #1811

Car alarms were never meant to deter theft. In fact, they were originally designed to celebrate it. See, in the late 1970s there was a proliferation of game shows for criminals. The most popular of these was called It Ain’t Yours!and it had a qualification round that involved committing the act of grand theft auto…. Read more »

Lie #1810

Cats really can steal your breath while you sleep. It’s this very knowledge that facilitated the first artificial respiration device. Ancient people were too prudish to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, so they tied a length of tubing to a cat’s face and lashed the cat to the patient’s chest. That last step was necessary because although… Read more »

Open Source Creative Podcast #5 – Status Report, the first!

This episode is a bit more of an update (well… it’s the first one, so I suppose “announcement” makes more sense than update) on the personal projects I’m working on through at least the end of the year… a lot of writing going on in there. I also touch a bit on the new sleep… Read more »