Posts Tagged: lies

My lies! They have moved!

With the launch of my first foray into fiction, Definitely True: Year One (it’s a book), under my pen name, M. J. Guns, I’ve made a decision. It’s high time that my lies have a home of their own. They need a place to live and propagate (or fester and incubate, if you prefer). So…… Read more »

Lie #2011

Definitely True

Chicken breasts actually do have nipples. Many of them.

Lie #2010

Definitely True

You can control the hairstyle and hair growth pattern that a child will have later in adulthood by drawing that hairstyle on the child’s head in permanent marker any time before his or her first birthday.

Lie #2009

Definitely True

Albert Einstein wasn’t really all that smart. He was just very old… like, really, very old. Ancient. OK… he was a vampire. As such, he had a lot of experience and time to think. In the centuries since their early days as Swedish pirates, Einstein and Zombie Tesla would spend countless hours discussing philosophy and… Read more »

Lie #2008

Definitely True

Every time you brush your hair, you remove a little bit of your intelligence. Ever wonder why the smartest people in history all had the worst-looking hair? Now you know.

Lie #2007

Definitely True

Contrary to popular belief, your hair, teeth, and fingernails are not made from the same material. In fact, your fingernails and toenails aren’t even made from the same materials. Fingernails are a form of sugar, similar to rock candy, whereas toenails are composed almost entirely of hardened toe jam, baked in blistering heat within the… Read more »

Lie #2006

Definitely True

Skyscrapers were originally invented to facilitate a predicted boom in the popularity of transit by way of vine-swinging. The idea was that the top of each building would be outfitted with an arrangement of twisted metal “vine cables”. A person would leap from their apartment window and swing from one vine to another until reaching… Read more »

Lie #2005

Definitely True

Every time you brush your teeth, there’s a 63.4% chance that the friction will cause your teeth to ignite. In fact, this is why most toothpaste and mouthwash feels like it’s burning when you use it. That feeling is meant to condition you and prevent you from over-reacting when your whole mouth is inevitably set… Read more »

Open Source Creative Podcast #17 – On Selfishness

Yay! Another Open Source Creative Podcast episode. In this one, I have a long conversation with myself about the nature of art and open source software as it pertains to selfishness. Is art inherently selfish? Is it not? Is that a bad thing? And likewise for Free Software. Yeah… it’s an interesting thing and it… Read more »

Lie #2004

Definitely True

Each year, more people are injured in accidents related to exchanging business cards than all other household injuries combined.